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Not suggesting a forced marriage, but at least the children should share their likes and dislikes with their parents and it is the duty of the parents to find a bride suitable for their son Vis a versa for women. A strong foundation is imperative for a successful marriage and should be settled before one even begins to date or court a potential life mate. I know I have a lot of questions, so try to answer as much as you can handle!

The first reason is the strong sentiment within much of American Christendom that marriage should be pursued with intentionality and without hesitation. His finances were a mess. Relational baggage can develop when someone pursues fulfillment through a person, possession, or substance rather than the love of Christ.

How do Christians get married?

When it comes to honoring God in romance, what starts out with the best of intentions often ends with the worst of results. Engagement can be one of the most beautiful — and most challenging — times in a romantic relationship. Knowing that you have committed to spending the rest of your life with someone and anticipating your new life together is incredibly exciting. But it also ushers in even stronger temptations to take the pen into your own hands and push God into the background. Jesus Christ must remain your first love; your All in all, even after your wedding day. That approach will quickly lead to turmoil and tension in any marriage relationship! Yes, there is great joy and fulfillment that comes from an earthly God-scripted romance. And yet, Jesus Christ is always meant to have first place in our hearts. He is the One who meets our deepest needs where human love falls short. Our relationship with our earthly spouse is meant to be a reflection of a much greater and more important love story — our eternal romance with our heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. As you guard and protect your individual time with Christ, it will actually help you become a better wife. But if you keep Christ in His proper place in your heart rather than making an unhealthy idol out of your marriage, you will be far less prone to nagging and complaining, and far better equipped to be the loving, honoring, servant-hearted wife God has called you to be! Principle 2 Vigilantly Protect Purity A young engaged couple that I know recently confessed to allowing sexual compromise into their relationship. So how big of a deal is purity to God, anyway? If you love someone and know you are going to get married, why is it so important to hold back? A wedding is a sacred exchange — a holy covenant in which two lives become one. Until you have entered into that covenant, you are still individuals — no matter how committed you might be to the relationship. Note: for more detail about this principle, please read Set Apart Femininity. When we choose to engage in sexual intimacy prior to a covenant exchange, we dishonor the sanctity and holiness of marriage. To keep sex sacred, we must keep ALL expressions of sexual intimacy sacred. This may sound strange, but Eric and I decided not to even kiss until our wedding day. We wanted to go out of our way to keep every form of intimacy sacred. Anything that you experience beforehand will eventually lose its luster. Even to this very day, whenever we share a kiss it is just as beautiful, thrilling, and satisfying as it was on our wedding day. Because we saved everything in our physical relationship, it has only grown more and more amazing, fulfilling, and exciting with each year of our marriage. And every time, they end up with a human-led, mediocre romance rather than the stunningly beautiful heaven-on-earth fairy tale version of love God intends. But it could have been even better. It could have been an unclouded picture of heaven on earth — a vision of the most stunning, spectacular, brilliant purity this world has ever seen. The more physical expression you allow into a relationship prior to marriage, the more you allow emotions and selfish desires to lead the way, rather than the Spirit of God. If you want a relationship that is truly directed by God rather than your own selfish whims and agenda, then go to all lengths to vigilantly guard the physical purity of your relationship. You think you are hearing the Spirit of God, when in reality you are only hearing the voice of your own selfish desires. Purity is not something to mess with or take lightly. Jesus Christ cannot remain at the center of a romance in which your own agenda is leading the way. Scripture is very clear on how seriously we are to take the protection of purity in our lives: Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God…Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?... Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's 1 Cor. He means to run away from anything that would compromise the purity of the sacred marriage covenant He designed between a man and a woman. But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints Eph. See 1 Timothy 5:2. Until you enter into a sacred marriage covenant, you are to treat him as a brother, with all purity. Think about what that means. Would you kiss your younger brother on the mouth? Would you wrap your arms around him sensually? Would you rest your hand on his thigh, or allow him to rest his hand on yours? In fact, He goes so far as to say that if there is any temptation toward compromise in a pre-marriage relationship, the couple should go ahead and get married in order to avoid sexual sin: …but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Cor. When it comes to protecting the purity of your pre-marriage relationship, there is no such thing as being too extreme. And we must be specific, rather than vague, about our commitments in the area of physical purity prior to marriage. Engagement is a great time to sit down together and have a clear-cut conversation about your physical boundaries. Look to the standard of Christ alone. A true Warrior Poet will value and honor your desires for purity far above his own agenda. He will not make you feel guilty or strange for having high standards. Rather, he will esteem and respect you all the more for keeping vigilant watch over the treasure of your purity. If you are with a guy who does anything less, then he is not yet truly worthy of your heart. And, by the way, if either you or he is worried about purity leading to frigidity or sexual incompatibility in marriage, I can tell you with absolute confidence that this concern has no validity whatsoever. Saving kissing and physical touch for your wedding day does not lead to sexual challenges in marriage. Rather, it leads to the most pure, beautiful, unhindered form of physical intimacy you could ever hope for or dream of. Also, if you have not already done so, share your specific commitments with accountability partners, such as your parents or godly teammates, and invite them to frequently ask bold questions about how you are doing in protecting the purity of the relationship. In reality, this is one of the best and most practical ways that your teammates can serve your relationship — by working with you to carefully protect the things that are most sacred to your King. Late nights sitting in the car, long hikes alone in the woods, nestling in the back of a dark movie theater, long talks alone in an empty house — all such scenarios give sexual compromise an unfair advantage. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost his life. Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death Prov. Giving sway to impurity seems so right in the heat of the moment. Sexual temptation is very much like the above-mentioned harlot in Proverbs — it entices us with sweet-sounding reasons about how harmless and beautiful it is to express our love physically. But with each step down the path of impurity, we venture further away from the perfect design and sacred intent of our King. And soon we end up with only a shell of a God-written love story — a relationship that proclaims to honor Christ but in reality only honors self. Principle 3 Go the Extra Mile Five months before our wedding, Eric and I faced an interesting challenge while on vacation with his family. A group of us had taken an Amtrak train to the East Coast and were now returning to Colorado. But the others in our group had missed our departure train out of Boston, while Eric and I sat on board the train waiting for them. The train took off before they showed up, so they canceled their reservations on the train. And to make a long story short, Eric and I were left with only one sleeper car to share for the thirty-hour ride home. The logical thing to do would be to both stay in the sleeper car. Sure, it might not sound great if we came home and told our friends that we shared a sleeper car together five months before our wedding day…but no one needed to know. But then His gentle whisper blew like a wind upon our souls, filling us with the desire to honor Him, to yield to Him in every situation. We bowed our heads and said a quick prayer, asking for wisdom and clarity. We had our answer. He had called us to be set apart for Him; to be a reflection of His purity not just in theory, but in practical, daily life. And it was in these little decisions that our devotion to Him was proven real. Eric spent that night in the observation deck while I remained in the sleeper car. I offered to take shifts with him, but he was too much of a gentleman to agree!

This definition, however, is not how God determines the leader of a met relationship. In fact, many pastors will not perform weddings unless they have met several times with the couple in a counseling setting. Friends accept us, making us feel wanted and valuable. Instead, ask yourself if those near to you are excited about your relationship moving sol, and examine why or why not. If you choose poorly, you could suffer years of heartache or wind up abused or divorced. In the same manner, God urges men to love their wives sacrificially.